Welcome to Monkey Trap
Monkey Trap are a five-piece from Croydon, mixing styles from ska to electro folk to death disco with Stella, Guinness and Harveys Best to create a sound that can only be heard by cats. Their ages range from 17 to 60, depending on whether they’re trying to groom teenage girls on Facebook or get cheap car insurance.
Influences include Steve Coppell, Nanette Newman and Les Dawson, especially the trio’s seminal live album Feet the Shape of Burnley, which has yet to be recorded. Kirsty Young and Lauren Laverne are pretty nice too. But I digress.
Drummer Dog sums up the band’s philosophy in one word. And he goes on to say, “If Adolf Hitler flew in today, they’d send a German owned Bentley anyway. Such is the state of the British car industry.”
Chopper the bass player nods in agreement, standing up to reveal a t-shirt on which he’s spray painted the slogan ‘Stella’. “I use this to get drinks when I’ve lost the power of speech,” he explains.
Knocker, who strums the guitar and makes a weird croaking sound into a microphone, takes up the argument. “Some people think we’re only in it for the booze, the sex and the money,” he snarls, “but other people don’t.” And he turns to Toddy, the band’s keyboardist, who sums it all up for the kids and adults who think that a smoothie made with real fruit must be a good thing. “Boycott Innocent Drinks,” he shouts menacingly.
It’s a long time since a band emerged with such strong views and the conviction to put them forward in their songs. Catch Monkey Trap as soon as you can – it’s better than bird flu.
But wait. Didn't we say there were five of them? Why have we only mentioned four? Because we'd already written this when the legendary Nose, 'the best white singer since Elvis', who went missing in 1992 in mysterious circumstances (Nose, that is, not Elvis), returned on lead vocals, and we really couldn't be bothered to write it again.
So there you are. Five. Happy now?
